Moving Forward...

Well, I think I'm finally beginning to feel better and that I'm getting over whatever flu bug I had out of my system.  This is my time to begin moving forward, again.  I'm beginning to learn and notice how all these setbacks that I have encountered these past few years are not really setbacks.  But may be signals from my body giving me a reality check and letting me know that I need to slow down and let myself heal more.  I'm that type of person that when I have something in my head about what I want to do, I go full force and put all my energy into it.  I used to be able to do that and keep doing my other daily activities.  But now, like I said, I'm beginning to realize that it's just not possible right now, which doesn't mean it will never be possible again.  I just need to quit beating myself up when my body can't keep up.  I need to keep telling myself that I'm not weak, that I am capable and that it's just going to take a little longer until my body has fully or almost fully recovered.

I have also been so confused as to what my doctor has been telling to me.  He has said that all my numbers are normal and that I can begin living life normally again with a few exceptions.  I was taking what he was saying and thinking that I shouldn't have anymore limitations, I shouldn't feel nauseous anymore or have that "blah" feeling.  I've just realized that that's not what he is saying.  He is saying that I can begin to live life more normally but that I need to be aware of my limitations and continue to allow myself to heal both physically and mentally.  I may not have as many restrictions now as I did after my transplant but that I'm still healing and trying to recover.  I'm beginning to learn my journey isn't that unfamiliar in the transplant community.  I'm discovering that everyone of us shares similar experiences and experience ones that are quite different.  I'm learning and telling myself that just because I'm unable to do something that maybe someone, who has been through a similar experience, can do, that I'm not weak or even lazy.  It's just that my body is taking a longer time to heal after everything it's been put through.

Approximately, a month ago, I began paying more attention my diet and I have increased my physical activity/fitness.  I'm beginning to recognize the signs of when I'm pushing myself too far.  And this time, I'm not beating myself up over not being able to complete my full workout circuit or complete an entire workout that I'm watching on TV or DVD.  I need to be thankful that I'm becoming more active and I'm paying more attention to my diet with the hopes of becoming healthier and stronger so that I can "keep moving forward".