Can You Promise It Will Be Okay???

I've been debating on whether I should post anything regarding the recent tragedy that took place in Newtown, Connecticut.  I even have reduced my time on FB because of all the news feeds and reminders of the tragedy and you can't turn on the TV without a reminder of what has happened. But after this morning, I decided I needed to write about it and how it has affected my family.  And I believe, that my fight with cancer and transplant has opened my eyes to the negative things in life that occur and this is one of those lessons.



As I was taking the kids to school this morning, my son looks over at me and he looks into my eyes and says "Mom, I'm scared" and my heart felt like it was falling apart.  As parents, we try our best to make our children feel protected and safe and this morning I was reminded (and I'm sure many other parents were reminded) that when they leave our side that is not guaranteed.  The only thing I could do was reassure him and my daughter that every school in the US is hyper alert and will take every action and use every resource possible to make sure all the kids are safe while in their care.  As we were pulling up to the school there were several men outside and a policeman at the door escorting children in.  I explained to them that they're there for their protection and if at anytime they get scared or worried, they need to let their teachers know and their teachers will make sure they can speak to someone about their fears.  As they were getting out of the car, my son looks over his shoulder and pauses and I could tell by the look on his face and the emotion in his eyes that  he was looking for reassurance.  All I could do was smile and a nod letting him know that it was okay.

But really is it "okay"???  One thing I have learned these past few years, is that there is no guarantee.  While fighting and struggling with cancer and my transplant, I learned that there are no promises.  One thing we learned as a family is that there is no promise of a tomorrow, and can only promise a "right now".  And that that "right now" is constantly changing.  My husband and I believed that our children needed to be aware of what was going on regarding my health.  We communicated with them the reality of the situation on a level that they could understand.  And so, this is what we have done with this tragedy as well.  Some may agree and some may not, but for us, we need to educate our children on this tragedy and allow them to process this reality.  By doing this, it provides them with the tools on how to cope and process when faced with circumstances that will be challenging, tragic, etc.

One of life's lessons we as a family learned, is that you can not promise everything will be okay.  I couldn't promise to my children that my cancer would go away, and I can't promise that it won't return.  Also, I can't promise they will be 100% safe here at home or even at school, but I can promise that my husband and I, and even the school, will do everything we can to try our best to keep them safe and explain to them how we will do that.

One thing I have learned through out my battle to remain alive, is that bad things happen and there is no stopping them.  We can do more research, create more laws, and provide more restrictions but it will not stop things like this from happening.  Whatever challenges or tragedies we are faced with, we will cope, process and heal. This is life...this is reality.

This is DEDICATED to the victim's and victim's families of Newtown, Connecticut.  My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.  God bless!!!