Tuesday, November 6, 2012

"I've never seen him. I've never heard his voice," she said, "but I'm just so excited to look into his eyes, to look into his soul, and tell him, 'Thank you.' - Erika Turner, gma.yahoo.com





I saw this on the "Good Morning America" website and it had me thinking.  I became so emotional when Erika stated, she wanted to "look into his soul and tell him "thank you".  I actually cried because I would like that opportunity.  I am so excited that my two year anniversary is around the corner.  I'm so excited to know that I can make contact with my donor.  I'm excited to know so much more about her.  I want to know her likes, her dislikes, what are her favorite foods and her least favorite.  What does she look like?  How is she built?  Is she similar to me or is she very different?  I know that she is within a year or two of my age.  I know that she is European.  But that is all.  I have underwent many physical changes externally and internally, I wonder how much of it is because of just cancer and chemo itself and I wonder how much of it is because of the new blood, her blood, flowing through me.  It could be a combination of both, but I want to know and learn more.

As I stated in an earlier blog, most international donors are "expected" to be a donor in one form or another.  Where as, in the United States, its more of a matter of "choice".  So, will this affect her decision?  Will she think its just something you do and there really is no great act involved.  Will she rather just not know who or where she donated?  Will she choose that its better not knowing, because its something someone just does? Will it personalize too much for her?

The whole process of cancer and transplant has been a long journey and a journey that still is continuing.  There is much processing and healing and discovery. For me, part of that process and healing, would be corresponding with or meeting my donor.  It's just another step toward discovering this new version of me. 

It's a very personal experience, because it really isn't just your own body.  Its really just a vessel holding all new blood and life.  Sure much is the same, but to know that the blood that flows through your body is no longer yours.  Its someone else's and whatever their blood type, is yours now.  I'm thankful to know that hasn't changed.  My donor and I share the same blood type. So that is a comfort to me.  It helps make me feel more like the old me. But what are those differences and how do they affect me?

Being able to place a face to the donor, I think, will be more personal.  It will be easier to identify with and process, make it more complete. It could be a beginning to a whole new friendship/relationshop.  I'm very anxious to find out and all I can do is HOPE that she wants it just as much as I do.

Please check out link below regarding, Erika meeting her donor for the first time....
http://news.yahoo.com/video#video=30351576

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