tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88563846882588697152023-11-16T02:58:32.155-05:00Embracing My "New Normal"Life after Acute Myeloid Leukemia, Relapse and Stem-Cell TransplantDeanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.comBlogger179125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-73160570078373711502021-11-05T06:08:00.001-04:002022-01-31T13:52:03.428-05:00 For Better or Worse: 11 years later after Stem-Cell Transplant <div><br></div><div><img id="id_49bf_3db0_fa45_4612" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/IrV95dDwG0epEWkMRUmhVOMKE3i6IE28zzRJGs8wVp44zKH_f_CSvkUMf4yy6Ph4RHs" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br><div>I’m not complaining I’m alive but being alive came with a great price. Thank God for the groups I’m in, especially the cGVHD group. I had no idea some of the things happening to me are related to my stem-cell transplant. </div><div><br></div><div>When things are out of the ordinary it’s easy to think it’s something I have done but I’m learning it’s more than that. Most of the time, it’s ALL related to my GVHD. </div><div><br></div><div>I’m not going in on the details but now I know the things going on right now are quite frankly out of my control and is the reason my body doesn’t look like it did before. Not only have the changes occurred on the inside of my body but on the outside too. It’s just another symptom or symptoms that I need to address and cope with. </div><div><br></div><div>Sometimes I feel like an alien in my own body. I hate going anywhere. I hate being seen which in turn has affected how I relate to the world around me such as my job and the relationships with the people in my life. It’s exhausting to pretend to be healthy (mentally and physically) every single day. </div><div><br></div><div>Some days I just cry and want to give up. But when I hit that low I try to tell my self it could be worse. Cheer up, buck up, and don’t allow it to bring me down. </div><div><br></div><div>I’m not looking for sympathy or any words of comfort. I’m just sharing what my ‘new normal’ is. It’s always changing and always leaving me with more confusion and questions.</div><div><br></div><div>They try to prepare you for what could happen when you choose to move forward with a stem-cell transplant but it all goes in one ear and out the other because you literally are given the option to live no matter the cost or accept your fate and die. Sometimes it felt as ‘luck’ to be able to make that choice. Many people are not given the choice and their life is taken from them in a moment. I had a choice. To live or to die. </div><div><br></div><div>I question if that was the right choice. Sometimes I wonder was this choice given through the Devil rather than God because of this ‘new normal’ and all the symptoms that came with it and other times I ask ‘is this God giving me a chance to speak of my suffering to help others’. To help others cope with their own struggle. To help others use their own faith or turn to faith to help carry them through. </div><div><br></div><div>There’s are so many questions with so many that will go answered. I need to trust God with the decision I made and trust him through the process. And the days when I feel weak, I need to turn to him for the strength and relief I am seeking and wishing for.</div></div><div><br></div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-4831067506108061342020-12-05T01:05:00.001-05:002020-12-05T01:05:46.311-05:00November 30, 2010 a New Beginning, a New Normal<div><img id="id_442_f11d_3954_7697" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/zizyMuPWq4YpXsTT7hWIw4PlaaJSd_gB1iaKqLBd9bNNC1dEyKI_mWcrk7VNk0Y" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br>November 30, 2010 at 10:45 pm it was officially...</div><div><br></div><div>10 Years </div><div>120 Months </div><div>520 Weeks </div><div>3,650 Days </div><div>87,600 Hours </div><div>5,256,000 Minutes </div><div>315,360,000 Seconds</div><div><br></div><div>...that I have been cancer-free and a stem-cell transplant survivor and warrior!🎗</div><div><br></div><div>Thanks to my donor across the ocean in Germany, Andrea W. 🙏🏻❤️ </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><br> Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-41078579774623577442020-06-25T06:59:00.001-04:002020-06-25T07:02:09.864-04:00I Will Never Forget <div><img id="id_85f6_77e8_43fc_f34b" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/f4Uzb4Wwp8fhH3wPRJ_hl4IIUgt-82a8sStvy3_EceEo8rDHA2jKCWQJh3bDQhw" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br><div>11 years ago. </div><div>I will never forget. </div><div>I will never forget the shock of it. </div><div>I will never forget knowing the truth deep down inside. </div><div>I will never forget the denial. </div><div>I will never forget the anger. </div><div>I will never forget the fear. </div><div>Fear of dying. </div><div>Fear of never seeing my kids again</div><div>Fear of leaving my husband. </div><div>Fear of leaving this life way too early. </div><div>Fear of dying alone. </div><div>I will never forget the pain. </div><div>I will never forget what being close to death felt like. </div><div>I will never forget the fight. </div><div>I will never forget what it means to survive. </div><div>I will never forget the warrior inside of me. </div><div>I will never forget.</div></div><div><br></div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-66409699318774049862020-04-11T10:52:00.001-04:002020-04-11T10:56:18.377-04:00Traditions and Faith: During These Uncertain Times <div><img id="id_2709_37ba_61d4_d889" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/tuN4qAK0Z9P_Lx46nx-IgD2DiSW7LdJueAz_kc70T9Lz7XlY8LRXmtLnRzAvilM" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br></div><div>Just some thoughts of mine this morning...</div><div><div><br></div><div>Yes, this sucks. </div><div>Yes, there are still so many unanswered questions. </div><div>Yes, there is a lot of uncertainty. </div><div><br></div><div>But this is life. It always has some curveball it throws at us. But even with those curveballs, we can either swing and miss and walk away feeling defeated or we can focus, take that swing, and knock it out of the park. << I had to ‘throw’ in some baseball lingo>>Lol</div><div><br></div><div>We as humans have the ability to adapt and choose how we adapt. While many of us are facing many losses (I.e. job, businesses, health insurance, etc), it’s how we respond that’s important. </div><div><br></div><div>Today’s message really spoke to me. </div><div>“This is the day I have made”.</div><div>“Rejoice and be glad in it”.</div><div>“Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past”. </div><div><br></div><div>Even though this Easter may be different for most without the traditional family dinners and gatherings, it doesn’t mean we should be mourning. We should look to God and take comfort and know this is just one day, one snippet of time to create a new memory. A memory to reflect on years later that demonstrates that even in the most trying and uncertain times, we can rise above.</div><div><br></div><div>We can rise above any foe and any obstacle because that is the American way! That is the Christian way! </div><div><br></div><div>God bless and Happy Easter</div><div><br></div><div>“Holy Saturday is the day of hope, when we are reminded that God’s hand can reach to deepest recesses of our lives, of our experience. Hope calls us to resistance; to resist despair, darkness, and death. Where there is resistance, there is hope – as we await Easter”. (Deacon Manuel Valencia, Mater Dolorosa Passionist Retreat Center)</div></div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-65687770688615557042020-03-08T09:29:00.001-04:002020-03-08T09:30:00.027-04:00Graft Vs Host: a true story of life after <div><img id="id_a4ed_5ddc_996d_fde2" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/Va63Ml8D74tyn-IS7S2nkbVWbpxCGeMU5DNDW3zVP30BO0J0iWhG9aw5eoZ0Fb4" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br>A fellow sct warrior shared this video he found and it’s spot on! It may be 20 minutes long but it’s a definite watch to those who may be interested and just want a peek at life after sct which is spot on for me. This came at a good time because I have another stupid symptom resurfacing. 😞</div><div><br></div><div>Video Link</div><div><a href="https://youtu.be/DI0TOq_gHEY">https://youtu.be/DI0TOq_gHEY</a></div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-144436883333464602020-02-26T15:20:00.002-05:002020-02-26T15:20:48.973-05:00Flu A Positive<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well the internal debate whether to call off sick was justified. Although I'm not real fond that it happened that way. It was brutal. It was debilitating. Never again do I want to feel that way. It's been a long time since I felt that bad. I'm not sure I ever really felt that bad when I was sick with cancer and chemo treatments.<br />
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Well, at least I am on the mend. And oh, by the way, my poor husband got struck with it too. So now we are both on Tamiflu and are both on the mend. Our children have been staying with my parents. My son was totally freaked out and didn't want to catch it and my daughter felt the same way. So hopefully, they have avoided it.<br />
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So here's to staying healthy!<br />
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Please God, Please! No more illness<br />
<br />Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-73446500666814041812020-02-24T10:04:00.000-05:002020-02-24T10:04:16.692-05:00Stay Home or Go to Work: The Internal Battle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Staying home from work today due to illness but is it the right decision?</div>
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I am one of those people who has an internal battle on whether to go to work or stay home and recuperate from whatever ails me. My work ethic is very important to me, and with having very few sick days due to the number of doctor appointments I have which is a lot, I feel guilt. </div>
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I have been in remission from cancer for nine and a half years, however with all the side-effects from my stem-cell transplant, which consists of many follow-ups and discovering new side-effects, that it makes it nearly impossible to bank my sick days. </div>
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My employers are great and very understanding but with any business you need employees that can be counted on, so with all my doctor appointments and this illness that has struck me down, I feel like a less dependable employee. </div>
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I told myself when I was sick with cancer that I would never put a job before my health. And I feel I'm not really doing that now since I am home sick with whatever flu bug is going around. But internally I'm battling. </div>
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Does anyone else go through this internal battle?</div>
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The thing is I know my limits. I know that if I had gone in, I would have been worse off which would have resulted in not just having today off, but more likely, many more.</div>
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My 'new normal' since cancer and stem-cell transplant has forced me to make a lot of adjustments in my life. Some days are better than others. And those bad days, can really go south quickly. I'm talking in a matter of minutes, or even seconds. Sometimes there is no warning. Sometimes, like last night and this morning, my body was definitely warning me and telling me, stay home.</div>
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So here I am, overthinking staying home. overthinking not going to work. And overthinking all of my overthinking. </div>
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Any you're welcome, welcome to the mind of an overthinker. </div>
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Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-82389832532650263612020-02-08T09:08:00.001-05:002020-02-09T12:16:03.837-05:00The Weakest Link<br />
<img alt="" id="id_c84d_372b_85df_e6aa" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/wLjWZdfyOFNUj6TVeA2xoY5Nx4nmVK-hxAA6H75sXJ8rFL9p9PkX6O2pDbyek_c" style="height: auto; width: 392px;" title="" tooltip="" /><br />
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This picture was taken a week before I found out I relapsed (in 2010). I thought I was living my best life. I couldn’t have had a better outlook after fighting cancer. I truly felt like I was on top of the world and that nothing could bring me down. I had the mindset that I faced the biggest evil and fought death and won to just have it all taken away from me in a matter of seconds. </div>
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Let me back track to my initial diagnosis. I hadn’t been surprised. I had all the unexplainable symptoms and knew something was just not right. So I didn’t feel as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of me when I was told I had cancer. But I did feel that when I was told I relapsed. I felt like a failure. I thought I was strong. I thought that I could do anything because I beat cancer. </div>
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And when I didn’t, a piece of me died. I wasn’t giving up hope for another chance. But that other chance had to come from someone else, a donor. Someone who had healthy, strong cells to fight the battle for me. It made me feel then, and even now, that I am the weakest link. That I am so weak I can’t even fight cancer which I literally can’t. My donor cells are fighting my cancer producing cells. </div>
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Sometimes I feel like I’m just a host of another person. I may look like Dee. I may talk like Dee. But am I Dee? Who am I? Can I get her back, even if it’s just a glimpse? </div>
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Cancer is a life changing thing. The battle is brutal. And when you come out of that battle, you do become someone new. It changes you. And how it changes you, is an individual thing. My initial victory I felt like champion. But after my relapse, I felt weak, and still do. I’m constantly fighting. Always in warrior mode. Not because I need to fight cancer but fight what cancer has left behind. </div>
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And what it has left behind is someone I don’t even really recognize.</div>
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Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-47669964574833728652019-09-27T08:32:00.001-04:002019-09-27T08:32:44.788-04:00Every Day is a Blessing<img id="id_dda0_84f2_e556_c0af" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/8paTagnIPDlinnk3nX9GF0elqHwoYqPiWVLxg79EXATeDm-_H-Ze6bYCesg" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div>Love this picture of my daughter from a number of years ago. I love the feeling I get from looking at it. </div><div><br></div><div>It’s a reminder to greet each new day that is full of endless possibilities with joy and a smile; and to be thankful for another day to just ‘be’. ❤️</div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-28852643245812786942019-09-06T11:53:00.001-04:002019-09-06T11:54:22.264-04:00Heartbroken<img id="id_fe89_7236_fd4a_5896" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Kc_OTmd6cO5R29K6WlI7oXsTf8uI8J85pDri5EkeTStHtLck9U8VRp4K5BM" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I can’t even make sense of it.</span><br><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I can’t even fathom why.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am completely heartbroken for someone I hardly even knew but knew completely through cancer.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We chatted only once.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We formed a bond like no one else knows.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Just in that one conversation, we were kindred spirits who have been dealt one hell of an ordeal.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have no words.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I only have complete sadness.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And complete heartache.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My thoughts and my many prayers go out to the family and friends who were touched by her life.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">May she rest in eternal peace in God’s Heavenly Kingdom<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p></div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-2567652197181156522019-08-26T20:57:00.001-04:002019-08-27T21:00:47.744-04:00My Zen Place<img id="id_3b41_c377_f0fc_bd39" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/MjqSiQVjT_1ihOcxWMh4y18N89jlJzYFXIQUvzuEfZIjkVzy75j4BmlUCXM" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div>My zen place is a place where I can recharge. </div><div>A place where I can enjoy time with my husband and children, family and fiends. </div><div>A place where I can enjoy the beauty of nature. </div><div>And a place to even enjoy a good book. </div><div><br></div><div>My zen place allows me to enjoy these snippets in time. </div><div>It allows me to reflect on all things I’m thankful for. </div><div>It allows me a moment to count my blessings. </div><div><br></div><div>My zen place gives me hope for a better tomorrow. </div><div><br></div><div>My zen place allows me to just ‘be’. </div><div><br></div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-29098715040226541072019-04-28T10:32:00.001-04:002019-09-02T08:59:52.993-04:00Living in ‘My’ Moment <div><img id="id_b4d4_fe19_fa5e_6ec4" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/kTkANAP1MdgZLENg8jTnjZMnEh-8u64DBRYtrRoIUqtHhJbptRazKntOYuw" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"></div><div><br></div><div>Some people say I need to enjoy life more and get out and experience life first-hand, not hide in my make-believe worlds. And I say what’s wrong with escaping to an alternate world where I can be someone else for a moment? If it helps me forget the ugly side-effects of cancer and chemo & stem-cell transplant, then that is my choice. It’s what works for me. It’s what makes me happy. It’s what keeps me somewhat sane (when I’m not having some form of flare-up). What may make you happy, may not be the same for me. I don’t judge you, so don’t judge me. </div><div><p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br></span></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Living in the moment for me is with my family, my friends who are rockstars and put up with my quirky introverted ways, it’s my books and enjoying the boat life on the water with my family. </span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">That’s all I need. That’s all I want in this thing called life. I want simple because the things I can’t control are chaotic enough and the last thing I want is chaos.</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> #iwillbeme #youwillbeyou #livinginmymoment #cancersucks #lifeinremission #eightyearslater</span></p></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-36615807772659067442019-02-05T09:10:00.001-05:002019-09-27T08:35:36.728-04:00My TSUNAMI<img id="id_21d6_4e08_ddf8_e895" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/9LPmZ44Xvt3ouhmCY8GKpp7Dxigo5oSI7rnuRw_OZTVGJwbBwbNt3gpHGFA" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 392px; height: auto;"><br><br><br><br> <div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’m back! For how long? I don’t know.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Maybe I need just a little blogging therapy? Or maybe I need a whole lot of blogging therapy!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A friend shared an article and tagged me on Facebook. The article is from <a href="http://www.goodtherapy.org/">www.GoodTherapy.org</a> and speaks to “Life After Cancer: The Emotional TSUNAMI of Being a Survivor”.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">While reading the article, many emotional chords were struck, and it seemed as though someone actually dissected my brain and examined all of my thoughts, my viewpoints, and emotions as if under a microscope.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">One of the first things that struck me was the title of the article. I’m not sure why but I hate the word ‘survivor’. I think it infers that someone has been through a battle they have won and can begin to move forward and begin living as though not a lot has happened. But I truly don’t believe that is the reality. Especially for those affected by cancer or any other life-threatening disease or circumstance. I believe ‘warrior’ would be the best term when describing someone who has fought a huge battle between life and death. Even though the warrior has been through hell and has fought the battle there are still many battles ahead. The article speaks of these many battles and uses the acronym TSUNAMI to identify those battles.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">T – Trauma<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">S – Significant Distress<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">U – Upregulated<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">N – Negative Thoughts and Mood<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A – Avoidance<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">M – Month<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I – Intrusive memories and symptoms<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">(Note: read article for more of a description of each term)<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I admittedly can identify with all of these. Even before this article, at times, I had asked my husband or family if they have noticed a difference in me. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am laying bare my inner most thoughts with how I can related to the TSUNAMI post cancer. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">TRAUMA is most definitely the first symptom with the initial cancer diagnosis. It’s a shock to the system. It’s a whirlwind of emotions of fear of the unknown. But your warrior mentality does kick in and so begins the battle of life and death. After my first diagnosis and battle, I think that I had been coping well. I was happy and enjoying life and a much different person. I can honestly say I was a happy, forgiving person. My oncologist had been very optimistic with how I responded so quickly to treatment and how my body adjusted. I felt as though I had beat it. Then the day came when I was told I relapsed. I believe at that moment is when my optimism took a nose dive. That’s when my ultimate warrior surfaced. And since then, I have never fully recovered. Many people always say to me ‘be happy you’re in remission’. Well yes I am but I feel as though I’m living on borrowed time.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Not knowing if a relapse will be in future again, or if something will occur due to the poisoning of chemotherapy, you begin feel SIGNIFICANT DISTRESS. Things that you thought were important are not so important anymore. You begin to take things day by day, moment by moment. You appear to become less functional in your life and relationships. You begin to feel UNREGULATED with your sleep. There are many night’s where my mind is going a mile a minute over something stupid like an innocent bruise or symptom that was a warning to my cancer diagnosis. These sleepless nights and constant worry over new or old symptoms can wreak havoc on the body. It’s like you’re preparing yourself for that something you have been dreading which is where all of the NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND MOOD begin to unleash. I find that I can be completely euphoric in my emotions in one instant to feeling completely numb and shut off in the next. Since my relapse, I have wondered if I were normal? What has happened to me to be this happy, loving person one minute to someone who doesn’t feel at all? I realize that I don’t put up with crap from anyone. If someone brings me down or I consider a negativity in my life, I am very quick to dismiss them. I don’t have the time or patience to deal with someone that makes me feel less than. But also, I can go from that moment of not giving a crap, to giving a crap too much. I try to make others in my life feel loved and to appreciate the time we have together. These are the moments we will miss if something were to happen. We need to appreciate our time together and not to miss out on an opportunity for a hug, a kiss, or an ‘I Love You’. It’s definitely a seesaw of emotions. Because of the overwhelming emotions and health problems post cancer, you begin to feel less human which is where the AVOIDANCE of social settings kicks in. I really don’t care to socialize or be out in public all that much, even though I miss it. I find that I want to be out there socializing and hanging out with my friends but find myself feeling awkward and a loner, not quite feeling as if I fit in anywhere. I find that I prefer the comfort of my home and family. These feelings have been persistent since my relapse and have been a lot more than a MONTH, try eight (8) years! Even though it has been so many years, many INTRUSIVE MEMORIES AND SYMPTOMS still exist. I can’t even explain it. It could be something that has nothing to do with doctors, hospitals or cancer, but something happens or is said, it triggers a memory or a moment during my battle. It sometimes freezes me in my spot and I’m instantly taken back to that time. Sometimes I can quickly escape those flashbacks where no one even has a clue and I can push it to the side to deal with later. Or I end up breaking down with an escaped tear or I excuse myself for a mini-breakdown. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It really is all overwhelming. Some would say I am depressed. Some would say it’s post-traumatic stress. I say it’s the human condition of survival and the warrior in me fighting daily to just be.</span></p></div>Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-65006423853766548562018-05-13T08:22:00.001-04:002018-05-13T08:22:05.237-04:00Mother's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAXNBueEoCWU9ABJk81v0qTEAz_CqJUCe25oxghZZ1EGUUwHWhIYMd6SZN4ceG8_XEjcy_C6k62FjVqtnovgBbvwodTJ_QT_n1-G-c5CF30G99mgGczSVQAVqFGiaTudMHa1mRZu2ksRDo/s1600/IMG_1447.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAXNBueEoCWU9ABJk81v0qTEAz_CqJUCe25oxghZZ1EGUUwHWhIYMd6SZN4ceG8_XEjcy_C6k62FjVqtnovgBbvwodTJ_QT_n1-G-c5CF30G99mgGczSVQAVqFGiaTudMHa1mRZu2ksRDo/s320/IMG_1447.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Well, this will be my fifteenth Mother's Day. There was a moment in time where I was unsure if I would make it past my 6th. I am so thankful to be alive celebrating it with my husband and children. I am so completely proud of them. Each day they are becoming more mature and slowly transforming into miniature adults.<br />
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I am so thankful for them and thankful to God for giving me this chance to be a mom!<br />
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Happy Mother's Day🌷❤️Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-20697011457171935582017-12-21T08:42:00.000-05:002017-12-21T08:45:09.952-05:00God's Beauty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRG7oMCz04OpfaDwWZvqgRXzECvlzwVQjPp67qmE3RWYfgNlfsbx10l_fnOfqd1zKDA1KIin4Llg4rq72riox69wLzaYdORM2X2Dch7AMvo4_4K4rf6MNt9FlQp1ouzhduS7UohQrXPdXM/s1600/IMG_20171221_083738_162.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRG7oMCz04OpfaDwWZvqgRXzECvlzwVQjPp67qmE3RWYfgNlfsbx10l_fnOfqd1zKDA1KIin4Llg4rq72riox69wLzaYdORM2X2Dch7AMvo4_4K4rf6MNt9FlQp1ouzhduS7UohQrXPdXM/s400/IMG_20171221_083738_162.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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This morning I am, yet again, in awe of the natural beauty that God has created. Looking past the barren landscape, I am captivated and enamored by the frosted winter wonderland before me. Accompanied with the radiant glow from the rising sun, tingeing the sky in hues of light blue and yellows with added brilliance of pink reflecting upon the flowing river alongside my commute to work, I am spellbound. I have never seen the river look so pink. It took me so much by surprise and took my breath away. It became a reminder that we choose the beauty in our lives. Instead of focusing on the lifeless barren landscape and unclean roads, I focused on the beauty greeting me this morning. And boy, what a BEAUTIFUL morning it is. God Bless and Have a Blessed Day!<br />
<br />
Quoted source:<br />
www.philipchircop.com/postDeanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-68540727616443636322017-11-30T19:45:00.002-05:002017-11-30T19:46:22.297-05:00How Could I Forget?!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcfe3qNGWfYV-HPAG_MoPPR8jHbxxvXFxUtqIAcIl6VvHk9le9at434HTJNRo6SL-jqXL6ZumUNSy6wGcr6jdxBdEuker-ilSJvAfYK1jrTGHQBuO0fn-W9LIaxNNa-_dptTM_9jU7H1A-/s1600/201411280904.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="984" data-original-width="984" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcfe3qNGWfYV-HPAG_MoPPR8jHbxxvXFxUtqIAcIl6VvHk9le9at434HTJNRo6SL-jqXL6ZumUNSy6wGcr6jdxBdEuker-ilSJvAfYK1jrTGHQBuO0fn-W9LIaxNNa-_dptTM_9jU7H1A-/s320/201411280904.PNG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Seriously, how could I forget this momentous day?<br />
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How could I forget that this was the beginning of my new normal. A new journey yet to be discovered. <br />
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It's been quite a journey of unknowns but isn't that typical of any journey?<br />
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I just know that this journey is the one that counts the most.<br />
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It's meant to be full of laughter. <br />
It's meant to be full of love.<br />
It's meant to have periods of grief.<br />
And it's meant to have periods of pain and sadness.<br />
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This journey is meant to remind me how great it is to be alive.<br />
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It's meant to be a reminder to embrace all that life has to offer because it can change in a second.<br />
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It's great to be alive.<br />
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I still can't believe I forgot this day. Maybe it's because I'm finally healing. It has been seven (7) years since I received the greatest gift of all....a second chance.<br />
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This day I celebrate my 'new' normal. <br />
This day I celebrate my amazing, selfless donor Andrea W.<br />
This day I celebrate me and I keep rockin' on. 🤘Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-85356932638486755402017-11-25T15:10:00.000-05:002017-11-25T15:28:07.970-05:00Seven Years Ago the Prepping Began...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR2AzsOFVsVvbuXwgvlysJIHG_N_SHiinQAW9bE2G3rnXRSVmI8X1wEGmEqcy4oLMWRQuZfuvQHTeSEvYMfYJ8w-2O4d4QZj79K9OUkdhtvaM_7TOK1E1Un65RDp00BgfcVKBBtYcVA_27/s1600/51643_1683795901951_6920613_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="488" data-original-width="816" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR2AzsOFVsVvbuXwgvlysJIHG_N_SHiinQAW9bE2G3rnXRSVmI8X1wEGmEqcy4oLMWRQuZfuvQHTeSEvYMfYJ8w-2O4d4QZj79K9OUkdhtvaM_7TOK1E1Un65RDp00BgfcVKBBtYcVA_27/s320/51643_1683795901951_6920613_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Seven years ago, life was quite different than it is now.<br />
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As I look at this picture, I reflect on how unknown the outcome of the stem-cell transplant would be. <br />
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I was beginning my preparations for my sct which would take place in five days. <br />
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So many things helped me through one of the biggest battles I would have to face.<br />
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My faith gave me peace.<br />
My family gave me focus.<br />
My stubbornness wouldn't allow me to quit.<br />
My grit made me determined.<br />
My weakness gave me the anger to fight.<br />
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Cancer gave me the knowledge that whatever I set my mind, body and soul to, I will win!<br />
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Here I am seven years later, celebrating this new normal with a life of up and downs, challenges and ease.<br />
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I appreciate the small things of life and I embrace the big things.<br />
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Even though I'm in remission, cancer is still in my life every day. It's not something I dwell on but something I am reminded of every second of every minute of every day. It is and will always be a part of who I am today. As awful, disruptive and evil cancer is, it has shaped me into a better person who is passionate about life, and loves deeply.<br />
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God Bless and Keep Rockin On <br />
<br />Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-21990972046451879862017-11-14T07:01:00.002-05:002017-11-14T07:09:17.211-05:00Keep It Movin'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJMlf1Q4OXznZubdOJDRxTbrb9b9OSZNYAF4CP8fPgPZfuEO4QSqIydB2g6tHHLN75q_q4hQehsgQdy6SWZvMDU69WjZJrKTdTz9Mh6rz0F8dWNdplQti_Z6ns3upvPgZj7k4i_3tatOcu/s1600/IMG_20171114_064649_632.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1019" data-original-width="1019" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJMlf1Q4OXznZubdOJDRxTbrb9b9OSZNYAF4CP8fPgPZfuEO4QSqIydB2g6tHHLN75q_q4hQehsgQdy6SWZvMDU69WjZJrKTdTz9Mh6rz0F8dWNdplQti_Z6ns3upvPgZj7k4i_3tatOcu/s320/IMG_20171114_064649_632.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
One of my biggest struggles since cancer has been the loss of my strength and the decrease in my lung capacity.<br />
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About a month or so ago I began an INSANITY class. I admit I was worried. It's a lot of energy and motion and I didnt think I could do it. But I was wrong. So wrong.<br />
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Two things I have learned. #1 I may never be able to be as fit as I was before cancer. My body may never fully regain the strength I once had because of my treatments and side effects. And that's okay. #2 INSANITY is insane and it is what you make it. I do all modifications. And even though I modify, I still work up a sweat. I'm usually drenched by the time we are done. It's very satisfying and I feel accomplished and energized after those 530 am workouts.<br />
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Also, I have recently noticed something about myself. I have noticed my range of motion is becoming more and I am actually starting to add more speed which I couldn't do at the beginning because of my lung issues. And although I'm still struggling with strength, I'm 'keeping it movin'.<br />
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This has been so rewarding. And I want to continue because if I'm seeing progress now, I'm looking forward to a better, healthier and stronger self.<br />
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This 'new normal' has been a wild ride of ups and downs and I wouldn't have it any other way.<br />
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God bless and keep it movin!<br />
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<br />Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-44904082084572473062017-11-08T06:08:00.000-05:002017-11-08T09:36:05.624-05:00Why Do I Pray?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDLJOilTqVzGOb3-uLolR1JMeSwgZAy0PCFIYVC8cJgWh4gghbm54DkZd6Qwt6LkIl2OdNcj3lPK6XrJBtem4eW9TFgRGZd6Flwa4_sSkV5GpTIhFbSM5GxEeS2zbeolQ9BLtXEajwZtwg/s1600/FB_IMG_1510137258301.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDLJOilTqVzGOb3-uLolR1JMeSwgZAy0PCFIYVC8cJgWh4gghbm54DkZd6Qwt6LkIl2OdNcj3lPK6XrJBtem4eW9TFgRGZd6Flwa4_sSkV5GpTIhFbSM5GxEeS2zbeolQ9BLtXEajwZtwg/s320/FB_IMG_1510137258301.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
The above picture was posted on FB.<br />
I'm not aware of it origins so I'm unable to give credit to it's producer.<br />
<br />
Anyway, when I read this post it made me think, wow, thats sad. What has happened to make this person feel this strongly?<br />
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I agree that 'in my thoughts and prayers or 'sending thoughts and prayers can appear to be over used.<br />
Some days I feel like I've said it or posted it a hundred times but even though I have posted it more than I thought, it doesn't take away from my genuine conviction.<br />
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There seems to be a misconception as to what prayer is. Especially with the most recent post. It's portrayed that prayer is always asking for something and praying to a God that allows what we believe to 'bad' things to happen.<br />
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It's rather ironic that my son had a homework assignment at Sunday school. He had to search the internet for the 5 types of prayer and have a discussion about those prayers.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJKEVT60JT2I_wKYBM7foEaCQI_k_7QjfI26VPI5XzgUCM7USLECmvNFr6iHsntcvfXHLqCDtAnWXMI1mtDXt3ZXF9SsRO09TkG9QrCZ8YxBPexd0WGiWsuwCn7WDi8EmeLzlsRQTUJryn/s1600/17ebb876abbd5b5eb5046467b1d1255a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="831" data-original-width="581" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJKEVT60JT2I_wKYBM7foEaCQI_k_7QjfI26VPI5XzgUCM7USLECmvNFr6iHsntcvfXHLqCDtAnWXMI1mtDXt3ZXF9SsRO09TkG9QrCZ8YxBPexd0WGiWsuwCn7WDi8EmeLzlsRQTUJryn/s320/17ebb876abbd5b5eb5046467b1d1255a.jpg" width="223" /></a></div>
As you can see not all prayers are asking for something. We adore and bless him, we offer him our thanks and we praise his glory. And yes, at times, we ask for his intercession on the behalf of others and we petition for ourselves when we feel we need him. But even though we pray for an outcome that doesn't happen, doesn't mean God failed us or our prayers were unanswered. God does things in his own time. I believe too many pray for an immediate need which in life doesn't always happen. Things take time. For those people who mock or ridicule others for believing in prayer says more about them then those who pray.<br />
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Sometimes when I pray, it's just to pray because it gives me comfort. Some people turn to nature, turn to music, exercise, etc to feel better. Others turn to prayer. Why is that a bad thing?<br />
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We live in a society where some believe we should all think the same, remove labels, and believe fully in the science in things. Why? It appears to me that for those who think this way are the disillusioned ones because if it doesnt fit in their ideals then all others are wrong. It's called narrow-minded thinking and it's not life.<br />
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We are not robots. Everyone has their own belief and ideas. If we all thought the same our world would be a bland place. Imagine putting a halt to all those creative minds just because tbey thought differently when creating something or making a decision on a particular conflict whether in a disagreement or a type of project.<br />
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Just something to think about. Prayer means many different things to people and because of our free will, we should be able to think and express that without being attacked. It's okay to disagree but to ridicule others for what they strongly feel, says more about you then the other person.<br />
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So in closing, yes, I say GOD BLESS. I celebrate God in my life post cancer. I fully embrace this new journey he has blessed me with. And I thank him for his love.<br />
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5 Types of Prayer Image source<br />
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/17/eb/b8/17ebb876abbd5b5eb5046467b1d1255a.jpg<br />
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<br />Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-8266211534309952452017-10-17T20:24:00.001-04:002017-10-17T20:27:23.922-04:00Each New Day and Finding Your Peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hi all, my blogs are getting fewer and fewer but when I'm moved by something or someone, I have to blog about it. So here I am again speaking with a little 'peace' of my heart.<br />
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Each new day brings something new. Each new day can be a good one or it can start out to be a bad one. Typically, you can choose which way that day goes. Some days when it starts out not so good, I either wallow in my misery and I'm pissed off at the world. Or I open my eyes to the beauty around me by enjoying the simple things.<br />
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Most recently, meaning this past summer, I have discovered a new love. A simple love. I always thought it was the love of the beach. But this year we decided on vacationing at a lake. Keuka Lake to be specific. And while I was not happy because I would be missing the beach, I was blown away by my reaction to it. The lake took my breath away. It gave me such peace. I realized that my love isn't so much the beach vs. the lake. It's the water. The ebb and flow. Some days it can be calm much like ourselves or it can be crashing waves and tumultuous just like our lives. It truly represents the ebb and flows of life. And no matter how those ebb and flows come, they give me great peace. My love isn't beach or lake, it's being out in nature and experiencing the beauty of water. No matter what form that water comes, it provides a sense of peace. I can be on the beach all day, just sitting in a chair while the waves play at my feet, or I can be on the boat and be soothed by its rocking motion. In either scenario I'm either trying to absorb all the natural beauty of the water around me or I'm closing my eyes and being content with where I am. Water is my natural therapy. Being in or near water has such a calming effect and is my escape. Is my peace.<br />
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With all the chaos cancer has created in my life, I have finally found my peace. I truly believe we all have something that brings us peace. Don't hold yourself back from new experiences. I almost said no to something that gives me the peace and joy I crave. Being on the water, especially at the lake, is not like anything I have ever felt. It feels as though I found my home. It's my place.<br />
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The warrior in me is finally ready for some peace, and of course, it will keep rockin on!<br />
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So go and allow yourself new experiences because you just may find the peace you've been looking for.<br />
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<br />Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-58405083469361625152017-06-07T06:21:00.002-04:002017-06-07T06:21:34.323-04:00Lucky To Be Alive<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Wow, the cure is out there. And we keep getting closer.<br />
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Statistics say that there is a 1 out of 4 chance of a sibling match and a 1 in a million chance of matching with a total stranger.<br />
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So let me just day, in 2010, there were 4 million donors in the U.S. and not one was a match for me. My brother was not a match either. The odds were stacked against me. My transplant team decided to seek an international match and my chances of finding a match were becoming less and less. Fortunately, my SCT team found two (2) 100% matches.<br />
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It seems like a miracle that I'm here. I'm so truly blessed. Thank you Andrea Wanderer, your gift of life will never be forgotten or unappreciated. You have given so much more than life, you have given my children their mom, my husband a wife, and my family a friends a lifetime of building more memories.<br />
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God Bless!!! Make the most out of each day. Accentuate the positives and rid yourself of the negative because life really is too short and you never know what's around the corner. Make the most of it!!! And ...keep rockin on 🤘<br />
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Click on the link to read the article<br />
https://futurism.com/?s=Lab+grown+stem+cells<br />
<br />Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-10023497003247063292017-03-07T21:12:00.001-05:002017-03-07T21:28:35.066-05:00Becoming My Own Champion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm back!!!</div>
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It's been a long time since my last post. Life has been so busy that I just haven't had the time to sit and write but I'm taking the time now.</div>
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I finally decided to go back to Weight Watchers to try and get some kind of control on my weight. Since my stem-cell transplant, I began having issues with my thyroid and had gained 30lbs in just a year. I seem to have stabilized but I'm just not happy with my weight. </div>
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I finally decided the time has come to do something about this extra weight. Even though I am scared, because what if I can't lose it? I'm afraid of failure because when I put my mind to something, I want to see it through. But my body is so completely different than I was before cancer that I'm almost scared it's not possible.</div>
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But no one else can do it for me. I need to be my own champion and use all my warrior strength to achieve my goal.</div>
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So here's to health and fitness!!! Rock on! 🤘</div>
Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-79761098927696301702016-11-30T22:21:00.002-05:002016-11-30T22:21:38.253-05:00My 6th year re-Birthday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Six years ago tonight I was given another chance at life. A complete stranger from the other side of the world, selflessly, donated her stem-cells in order to save someone's life. </div>
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In a way I feel special because I am blessed with two birthdays, my actual birthday and my re-birthday.<br />
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My re-birthday signifies a new life, a new journey, a new beginning. It is a reason to celebrate. There is no shame to recognize and speak of it. Because without it, I would not be here.<br />
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This day does not signify grief or sadness. There's no doubt the journey to be where I am today was a long one and there were times the outcome was unknown but there was always hope. And that hope went minute by minute, to hour by hour, from day by day until it has become year by year.<br />
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For me, my re-birthday is a day to celebrate and recognize the importance of this monumental miracle. It's a day to celebrate life, to embrace it, to love, to laugh and to appreciate each other and know how blessed we truly are. ❤<br />
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God bless and Rock on!!!Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-25540997513853254652016-11-24T10:03:00.000-05:002016-11-24T10:03:54.425-05:00Time to Reflect and Be Thankful<br />
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This is the time of year that I always reflect on the year 2010 and where I was on Thanksgiving day. Six years ago, I was prepping for my stem-cell transplant. Laying in my hospital bed, eating my dinner by myself, while my family had their dinner in the hospital cafeteria.<br />
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The memory of that day really puts things in perspective. It has taught me to cherish each day, treasure every moment no matter how big or small, to love hard, and to be thankful for family, friends, and to my selfless donor who gave me another chance at life.<br />
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Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless!!!<br />
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Image source:<br />
http://thedoubter.org/977/thanksgiving-eve-service/Deanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8856384688258869715.post-36027344596497138882016-10-25T05:54:00.001-04:002016-10-25T06:50:17.565-04:00In Limbo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm stuck.<br />
I'm not regressing.<br />
I'm not moving forward.<br />
I'm just there.<br />
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I feel like I'm at a crossroad. Do I move forward and leave all of cancer behind me? Or do I go left or do I go right? Will I encounter something new as a result of cancer or will I awaken something or somethings that have been dormant, only to battle and conquer again?<br />
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I know what I cannot do. I cannot and will not go back. I can't even make myself turn around. I can't even take a peek. Because what you think would be an innocent peek, would be like an innocent peek at Medusa. In just that fraction of a second, your life could end. It could turn you to stone keeping you stuck in a time you never want to relive.<br />
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I think that my path is becoming the one where I choose to move forward. But even when I move forward, somewhere on that path, I am faced with another and the only option is left or right. I need to choose because going back isn't an option. Whichever I choose it leads me to moving again to choose yet again.<br />
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This has become my new normal. A life in limbo. A life of moving forward. A life of walking in circles. But never, NEVER will it be a life going back.<br />
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Image source<br />
http://www.meahrobertson.com.au/crossroadsDeanna G. http://www.blogger.com/profile/07365922140241245567noreply@blogger.com1