Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I Sincerely Apologize...

I "sincerely" apologize to anyone who has sent me a private message on Facebook that has been unanswered.  I wasn't aware that when someone sends a message to a non-Facebook friend that those messages do not go into the regular "Inbox" but another folder labeled "Other".

I made this discovery today.  I have now responded to all those messages and would like to encourage you, if you are still interested, to continue sending those messages.

Now that I'm aware of the "Other" folder, I will respond as quickly as I can.

To all of you who have sent me messages, Thank you for your kind thoughts and words and for your support.  If I can offer any support, please don't hesitate to message me.

Thanks Again!!!
Deanna Coudriet Graham
(Facebook Name)

Saturday, September 7, 2013


A flower starts deep under the dirt and has to fight against gravity in the darkness before finally breaking free and opening its bloom to the sun. You may feel like you're in darkness and everything around you is muddy, but keep pushing toward the Light and when the time is right, you will burst into blossom. - God Wants You to Know

This morning, I came across this daily devotion.  It struck me on many emotional levels.  I'm not sure if its because of the anniversary of my relapse or if this is just the natural path of coping after experiencing such a life-altering ordeal, but my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place.

I feel as though I'm this flower, that is pushing forward and slowly growing with the goal of breaking free into the fullness of the Light. I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is just the 'normal' emotional aftermath after experiencing cancer or if its based on the 'relapse' of cancer.  

I feel as though I have days where I'm growing and moving toward that light.  And other days, I'm immersed in shade and struggle to grow because of the fear of darkness setting in again. Even though its been three years since that abrupt darkness, having it thrust upon you so quickly has been difficult for me to cope with.  

I'm tired of carrying that burden of 'fear' of the possibility of the return of cancer, but I'm also scared of moving forward.  Sometimes, I feel so powerless.  I need and want to regain control of my power.  I'm tired of living in the shade, metaphorically and realistically. I want to immerse myself in the light and allow myself to blossom in "Life'.

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