I'm not an overly religious person. I don't attend church weekly or monthly. I was raised Catholic and, at times, still adhere to the Catholics prayers and beliefs. Since my diagnosis, I have questioned many things and my spirituality has been one of them. When I begin to question things that are going on in my life, it's like I hear whispers. And I'm not talking about actually hearing someone whisper to me, but having a fleeting thought or something out of the ordinary happens. Most of the time, a thought goes through my mind and I quickly dismiss it and move on to whatever I'm doing. Then maybe a few hours, days or even months later, that thought resurfaces with an experience that I just had. I begin to question why this is familiar and then I realize that I've thought of it before once, twice or a few other times.
I was reminded of this today while I was at work. Some of the ladies that come in are aware of my circumstances. There are some that are not aware but hear me discussing my current health with these other ladies. After my conversation, I have some of these ladies, who are not familiar with my circumstances, approach me and ask questions. They are sincerely interested and offer their blessings.
This one woman approached me and stated she overheard me speaking about some testing I'm going to have in a few weeks. She asked if I could explain more. I informed her of my diagnosis, going into remission, my relapse, then my transplant. I explained that I would be having a bone marrow biopsy in a couple weeks. She asked if I could give her the specific dates of my biopsy and doctor's appointment. I gave her the dates and she stated that she will pray for me on those specific dates and she will let her sister know as well. This really touched me and, even as I'm typing this now, is making me tear up. I can't express to you how that made me feel. It's going to make that very stressful day a bit easier knowing that a woman that I don't even know, will be praying for me that morning. It gives me so much strength to know that.
While we were talking, she shared personal information about herself and her family. She is a survivor of cervical cancer, her husband passed away due to cancer, and her sister has been fighting cancer. We were able to connect on a level that I haven't been able to with anyone. I wish I could explain this deep, intimate connection her and I had. I really believe this was one of God's whispers letting me know that I'm not alone. He gave me comfort through someone else who has been through a similar experience.
Over the summer, a friend of mine stated she was listening to Oprah on her satellite radio. And she stated that Oprah had spoken about God's whispers. Oprah stated that he sends us these whispers to guide us to where we want to be. It made so much sense because at the time, my friend and I were speaking of my career, and what it is I want to do. So we focused on that issue. But, after today, I realized those whispers are about anything in our life, whether its trying to decide which career path to take, or to ease the mind and body about something that may be causing stress.
So in closing, I truly believe, God has carried me when I've been too weak from the chemo and cancer, he walks beside me to keep me company when I feel alone, and he whispers to me, to keep me going and to not give up. I will believe, I will hope, and I know I'm not alone in this journey!!!
Image source: http://xatigirl.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/god-whispers.jpg